6.28.2011

Testing of Character.

Needless to say..yesterday was a BIG test of character. And I admit I failed most of it. But the positive things is that even though I may fail one test it does not determine the rest of my path.

SO..to share what happened.
Last week we ordered a car part through an auto-part company. Our ignition key and tumbler needed to be replaced so we ordered it and my husband asked the girl that worked there if it came already programmed. She told us that it did so we got it in this weekend and were finally able to install it yesterday.

You probably guessed it, needless to say: IT WAS NOT PROGRAMMED! And after we installed it, due to the types of bolts that came with the part, for anti-theft reasons they are not easy to remove.

So my husband called the auto-store and they told us that there was nothing they could do for us. There was no manager that we could speak to, and when my father-in-law asked when we could go speak to a manager they were extremely rude, which did not make things any better.

I called a mechanic that I trust but he doesn't do what we needed done so it was no help. So luckily, my father-in-law and husband were able to find a way to get it running but the problem still needs to be fixed and of course, cost more money; but we are blessed and my father-in-law might help us with the cost.

My temper was off the charts. I wanted so bad to cuss them out and wanted someone to have to pay for the mess and for the lack of customer service. That is how I failed the test. I was so angry; and although I had reason to be I am not quite sure I handled my emotions to the best of my ability. I didn't cuss or do anything- but my heart desired it so much it was just as if I would have said it aloud.

I would not have been angry should they had told us before that we needed to get it programmed. Then we would have done it before installing it; but due to their mistake we installed it with no way of undoing it and were left with our only car unable to start. And the rude attitude of the employee that talked to us did not help the matter at all.
***
So now that I am done venting, let me turn around and declare all the blessings that came out of the situation.

  • I am alive and well. Yeah the situation sucked, but at least no one was injured and we both were still able to come to work today.
  • We have an amazing Dad who was able to help us and had all the necessary tools to install the part- eliminating cost of labor which would have been more expensive if we took it somewhere.
  • I am blessed to even have a car to have troubles with. Many people don't have anything or have means to fix it or have someone who can help them for free.
  • All in all I am blessed. I am alive and well, I had breakfast this morning and I have lunch in the fridge. I have everything I need to be happy.
***

It can be really hard to be positive sometimes when things just keep coming up. We really wanted to go camping but were advised not to cause of our car. Me and my hubby really wanna go but I am remaining positive regarding whatever outcome. I am even thinking that maybe I can plan a nice weekend with my hubby :) who knows?

In everything I am trying to learn how to have a happy heart. I want the mindset that no matter what I go through- I am blessed because I have Jesus. He is my everything. So many times I get caught in the things of this world and I rely on the world to much to meet my every need. I begin to depend on my job for my income, when God is my provider and my source of strength. I have grown to allow my circumstance to dictate my joy and that is so backwards. 

After losing Chuck it has been a really big battle to be truly happy. Gabriel has been my biggest blessing in that aspect. It is weird, after you lose someone so significant to you- it starts to feel like you can't live without sadness or worry. After awhile for me- if those two things weren't in the picture then something was wrong. I mean- how can I be truly happy if he isn't here? What a slap in the face to the love that I have for my brother. If he means so much to me then how can I just "move on"? It came to the point to where deep down, without even realizing it I felt that if I wasn't missing him or if I truly allowed myself to be happy again then I was betraying him. That if I truly let go of all the pain, then he would slowly fade away because it began to felt like the pain I carried was all that I had left of him.

It has been a real struggle since he's died. But with an AMAZING God and an amazing husband I have come to begin to find healing through it all.

One thing I can say about my husband is: He brought laughter and smile back into my life. He has such a precious and beautiful soul and it captivates mine. I don't know where I would be today if God didn't bring him into my life when He did. And to be honest- with the depression that I faced- maybe I wouldn' t be here today if God wouldn't have brought him into my life when He did.

***

In all things I want to be infectious with the Joy of the Lord. I want that true unattainable joy regardless of what is going on around me. Though waters may come against me and fires may try to burn me I want my soul to truly be rest assured that MY GOD will come and be a standard before me. There is no one like My God. Who created the Earth but Him? And who set the Earth and the planets in motion but HIM?? So if that be the case then why, when my world seems crashing down and everything seems to slip that I can not always find it in myself to completely and utterly trust in Him? The one who knows the very numbers on my head and promised that He will never leave me or forsake me.

THAT, is the God I serve! And I pray that more and more each day may I stand un-blinded and know that my God will always take care of me. And may I always give Him the full glory that is due unto His wonderful and precious Name.
****

I love you Lord, and I thank you for being the most amazing Prince that rescues me and brings me to Your Glory.

I love you Lord SO much,

May I always bring a smile to Your face and bring joy to Your heart,

♥ your daughter,

Nicole.

No comments:

Post a Comment